Not having done it before, I was not sure what to expect, and went into Yoni Puja pretty much as The Fool. Putting the yoni altar together was very powerful for me, especially as I had been in a pretty bad mood and not feeling very well. I’d gotten my period that day, and the past several months they’ve been a bit rocky, if not extremely difficult. I’m doing things to manage it, but this is all part of the Change. I often think of my mother now, and her experiences at my age. I wish she had been able to come to Yoni Puja, and I was happy when she showed up with the ancestors.
I think mainly I found this puja to be very loving and accepting, especially in a self-love and self-acceptance way. My sankalpa (sacred intention) for the ritual was forgiveness, of myself and others, and I have been surprised (and somewhat dismayed) at how much I need to forgive, mainly in myself. I have been feeling tested a lot, as I have experienced a real uptick in noticing my own negative self talk, and negative thoughts about others, and yet continually making the choice to let those illusions go…to accept the feelings and release the judgments.
It’s been quite an awakening and a real challenge the past few days, although I feel very protected and loved by Maa through this. Sad, vulnerable, somewhat lonely, but the forgiveness and love I need from myself are definitely there. – Jayada, on her first Yoni Puja
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